Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Yippee!!
1 week baby! 1 week til I can give you the biggest hug ever! So excited to see your face, smell you, (yes, even covered in Afghani dust), and listen when you need to talk. I love you and cannot wait for NEXT week!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Excitement!
So I have been trying to cut and paste this for a while now, but being as I am so computer literate, you get my version of the email Cade sent me. It went something like this.
"I have been very busy so things are crazy at best. I have been traveling a lot and staying elsewhere. But guess what????????????? I found my first IED!!! This is not a story for now but will tell you all about it when I get home. It was a big one. Yay me, almost everyone has heard about it. I am proud of myself:) Keepin my boys safe:)"
So this is the kind of emails I get from him. Short, sweet and "dropping a bomb". He was so excited about this IED, that I couldn't help but feel happy for him through my hysteria that he was sweeping for bombs! (Not sure if he came across it by accident?) If I know Cade, he has been offering to do anything to get himself out of the garage.
So, I am good with this surprisingly. His energy is contagious. I am glad he feels like he saved his friends.
He has all but quit calling and skyping at this point. :( But I understand too. We are down to 15 days now and I think he is trying to keep his head in Afghanistan. He is very excited to see all of you. Thanks for your support.
"I have been very busy so things are crazy at best. I have been traveling a lot and staying elsewhere. But guess what????????????? I found my first IED!!! This is not a story for now but will tell you all about it when I get home. It was a big one. Yay me, almost everyone has heard about it. I am proud of myself:) Keepin my boys safe:)"
So this is the kind of emails I get from him. Short, sweet and "dropping a bomb". He was so excited about this IED, that I couldn't help but feel happy for him through my hysteria that he was sweeping for bombs! (Not sure if he came across it by accident?) If I know Cade, he has been offering to do anything to get himself out of the garage.
So, I am good with this surprisingly. His energy is contagious. I am glad he feels like he saved his friends.
He has all but quit calling and skyping at this point. :( But I understand too. We are down to 15 days now and I think he is trying to keep his head in Afghanistan. He is very excited to see all of you. Thanks for your support.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Look out!!!
Yes, it's a monkey!
And my personal favorite, the convoy stopped for a herd of camels!
Cade, you aren't in Utah anymore....
Friday, January 7, 2011
After Much Concern...
I have decided to post some details. Not in an effort to freak anyone out, but to be true to this record. I have thought a lot about it and I think that in an effort to keep this as some sort of journal, I need to put in some detail. So if you are a worrier or a Grandma (or both) I will warn you ahead of time when I am going to write something bothersome. I have also decided it might be therapeutic for me to get it off my chest without having to call and cry to someone. That being said, Grandma's look no further.
Christmas was not what I had envisioned. I knew that it would never be the same of course. However, I had planned on getting the family together and Skyping and laughing and crying with Cade. Our plans were derailed on Christmas Eve when I was doing some instant messaging with him. He had had a long week. I could tell just by the things he was saying. I never try to press him for details. I think he will talk as he feels he can. I told him I was sorry he was struggling, to which he responded, "I mean, I know it is hard to see a copper wire in the dark, but I trust these guys to clear the area." As you can imagine, my heart fell into my shoes and I was glad we were not speaking by phone. I asked if it had triggered anything and he said "no, just made my heart stop." I am looking forward to getting the full story when he gets home. (Sick, I know.) I have no idea why he did not get blown up! It makes me cringe to think that we may have spent a far different Christmas this year.
In the end, Macade felt like he was unable to talk with family for Christmas. He was going to work out. (Who works out on Christmas??) He mentioned being able to talk to everyone in person soon.
It really does seem like I just start to relax, when something like this comes up. It makes me remember that he is not just on some base fixing trucks. He is out recovering vehicles that if left for any amount of time, are laden with explosives. His job is scary! I would love to say that I will not worry from this point on, but that would be lying. I worry a lot. It is my only goal this year to let myself relax a bit and not worry so much. I have had to tell myself several billion times that there really is nothing I can do but let him know he is loved and supported back home. And then it is Gods hands. Just like he was on Christmas Eve.
Christmas was not what I had envisioned. I knew that it would never be the same of course. However, I had planned on getting the family together and Skyping and laughing and crying with Cade. Our plans were derailed on Christmas Eve when I was doing some instant messaging with him. He had had a long week. I could tell just by the things he was saying. I never try to press him for details. I think he will talk as he feels he can. I told him I was sorry he was struggling, to which he responded, "I mean, I know it is hard to see a copper wire in the dark, but I trust these guys to clear the area." As you can imagine, my heart fell into my shoes and I was glad we were not speaking by phone. I asked if it had triggered anything and he said "no, just made my heart stop." I am looking forward to getting the full story when he gets home. (Sick, I know.) I have no idea why he did not get blown up! It makes me cringe to think that we may have spent a far different Christmas this year.
In the end, Macade felt like he was unable to talk with family for Christmas. He was going to work out. (Who works out on Christmas??) He mentioned being able to talk to everyone in person soon.
It really does seem like I just start to relax, when something like this comes up. It makes me remember that he is not just on some base fixing trucks. He is out recovering vehicles that if left for any amount of time, are laden with explosives. His job is scary! I would love to say that I will not worry from this point on, but that would be lying. I worry a lot. It is my only goal this year to let myself relax a bit and not worry so much. I have had to tell myself several billion times that there really is nothing I can do but let him know he is loved and supported back home. And then it is Gods hands. Just like he was on Christmas Eve.
Friday, December 31, 2010
2011
Well the beginning of a new year is here and here I sit contemplating how blessed we are. I feel very lucky to...........
You know what? I am not sure what I feel lucky about! I am sad that my kid is around the country fighting in a battle that can't be won. I am sick of the pit in my stomach and concern every time the freakin phone rings. I am tired of avoiding the news and yet being drawn to it. I don't like to even think about him hopping out of his truck to put his life on the line and yet it constantly is invading my thoughts and filling my dreams. I don't want him to feel nervous about coming home because he is different. Breathe, breathe...
OK, this is not my gripe about the war blog. I really do have hope for 2011. I hope it is a good year for Cade. I hope he continues to grow.
He has started ordering himself birthday presents for his leave time. He feels very lucky to have such awesome friends and family at home. He can't wait to thank you all personally for being so supportive.
A couple of things I thought to ask him about next time we talk: Have you seen any camels? What about little donkeys? Do you live in a tent? (It doesn't look like it, but what do I know?) If anyone wants to know something, let me know and I will ask. He may not be able to tell me some things, but we can try.
Sorry to be so negative. Must be the winter blues. But I also want to write how it is. For this is a documentation of his deployment for us to look back at if we need or want to. I am still hesitant to put in any harsh details that he has told me. I don't want to freak anyone else out!
Anyway, Happy New Year!
Here is to a better year for the soldiers in Afghanistan and elsewhere. May more lives be spared. Let Macade and the rest of his unit come home safe. Let them move on.
You know what? I am not sure what I feel lucky about! I am sad that my kid is around the country fighting in a battle that can't be won. I am sick of the pit in my stomach and concern every time the freakin phone rings. I am tired of avoiding the news and yet being drawn to it. I don't like to even think about him hopping out of his truck to put his life on the line and yet it constantly is invading my thoughts and filling my dreams. I don't want him to feel nervous about coming home because he is different. Breathe, breathe...
OK, this is not my gripe about the war blog. I really do have hope for 2011. I hope it is a good year for Cade. I hope he continues to grow.
He has started ordering himself birthday presents for his leave time. He feels very lucky to have such awesome friends and family at home. He can't wait to thank you all personally for being so supportive.
A couple of things I thought to ask him about next time we talk: Have you seen any camels? What about little donkeys? Do you live in a tent? (It doesn't look like it, but what do I know?) If anyone wants to know something, let me know and I will ask. He may not be able to tell me some things, but we can try.
Sorry to be so negative. Must be the winter blues. But I also want to write how it is. For this is a documentation of his deployment for us to look back at if we need or want to. I am still hesitant to put in any harsh details that he has told me. I don't want to freak anyone else out!
Anyway, Happy New Year!
Here is to a better year for the soldiers in Afghanistan and elsewhere. May more lives be spared. Let Macade and the rest of his unit come home safe. Let them move on.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas in Afghanistan
So, there is a reason for my lack of blogging here. I haven't heard anything! Macade evidently has been on several missions this week. It has been a stressful week for us too.
So I heard from him this morning finally and he is OK. They have been very busy and I don't know that they even take time to really celebrate the holidays.
So I sit here this Christmas Eve waiting to hear from him. Knowing that he woke up this morning in another country on the other side of the world. Neither of us will have a "normal" Christmas. It may be memorable, but not the same. I know that it never will be.
He was having a rough night, but said he was a man now and needs to deal with things and move on. Wow.
I miss him. I want to hug him. I want to smell him. Weird, I know. Your kids have a smell though and I miss it like I miss him. I want him to be safe. I want to be able to talk to him and comfort him. I want to say Merry Christmas to him knowing that he is not going to go out to put his life on the line, just for a day even.
I want to ask again for everyone to not forget Macade after the holidays. I have heard that the next few weeks are the toughest because they aren't getting as much mail. Cade is looking forward to coming home for a bit, so that might help. But if you think of him throughout the holidays, drop him a little line. He always loves hearing from everyone. Thanks everyone. Merry Christmas! May there be PEACE on earth.
So I heard from him this morning finally and he is OK. They have been very busy and I don't know that they even take time to really celebrate the holidays.
So I sit here this Christmas Eve waiting to hear from him. Knowing that he woke up this morning in another country on the other side of the world. Neither of us will have a "normal" Christmas. It may be memorable, but not the same. I know that it never will be.
He was having a rough night, but said he was a man now and needs to deal with things and move on. Wow.
I miss him. I want to hug him. I want to smell him. Weird, I know. Your kids have a smell though and I miss it like I miss him. I want him to be safe. I want to be able to talk to him and comfort him. I want to say Merry Christmas to him knowing that he is not going to go out to put his life on the line, just for a day even.
I want to ask again for everyone to not forget Macade after the holidays. I have heard that the next few weeks are the toughest because they aren't getting as much mail. Cade is looking forward to coming home for a bit, so that might help. But if you think of him throughout the holidays, drop him a little line. He always loves hearing from everyone. Thanks everyone. Merry Christmas! May there be PEACE on earth.
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